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i'm a 25 year old california girl who, like most of us, is perpetually in transition.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

days 13-18 and offical panic mode

i don't know what the hell is going on, but i'm putting a stop to it right here and now.

funny how when i first saw this picture i automatically liked it due to it's oddness, but i wasn't sure how the hell i could use it. i'm not even 100% sure what is going on in the picture. i see a woman who has leaped from a building onto a car..i dunno if that makes me crazy... but whatever, i can tell my non existent readers anything i want to; and today, this photo seems appropriate, in great part due to my current state of crisis.

i gained .6 lbs. how is that possible? i ate what i normally eat, but close to 200 cals less than normal. its official i need to restrict like crazy. today i will have absolutely no more than 1000 cals and hopefully 600.

rice cakes (50 cal per) for breakfast. absolutely no more than 6 and hopefully no more than 4. ideal amount is 2 but i think that may be asking too much. for lunch i needed actual food to keep up appearances at work, so i made cheese sandwiches with lower cal cheese so instead of 400 they're 360. dinner will be a veggie scramble with mostly vegetables like last night.

if this doesn't bring me down i will re-institute 500 cals or less days where i have two medifast bars (210 together) and a 270 cal(dressing included in that figure) salad.

if that doesn't work i will start a fruit and veggie fast until it goes down.

how on earth can i eat 1012 cals at 275 lbs and GAIN WEIGHT?!? wtf. i hope, to whatever god you wish, that this works, because i have enough stress already over other things in my life.

seriously.

if this continues i'm not sure what i'll do...

help?

day 19: weigh in: 276.2
day 18: weigh in: 275.6 cals 1012
day 17: weigh in: 275.4 cals: 1129ish
day 16: weigh in: 276.2 cals: 1200
day 15: weigh in: 277.6 cals: 1032
day 14: weigh in: 277.3 cals: 1192
day 13: weigh in: 278.2 cals: 1200

wish me luck...plz?

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