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i'm a 25 year old california girl who, like most of us, is perpetually in transition.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

690 cals means weight gain..blah [67]

day 67

weigh in: 255.3

rice 400
cheese and broccoli 290

day 68

weigh in: 256.2

brought cheese and broccoli for breakfast and lunch. hopefully one for dinner will cut it...

i should really just stop eating all together..

it gets me no where.
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not a whole lot to report, i'm sorry to say.

a friend coerced me, with flirting, to join an online dating site. i've met two guys thus far from it, but they're not really anyone i'd go on a date with.

still, i think i ought to give it a real try. i'll be filling out my profile after i finish on here.
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i'm in a weird head space right now.

i'm sorry to be painfully dull.
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i feel like i failed you guys, i gained almost a full pound and i didn't flirt with boys.. what is the world coming to?
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peridot:it was a shot of jameson. i just sort of rounded. usually alcohol doesn't seem to count if it's consumed in a bar because i hate to sit down as i am usually just too twitchy.

liz: you're welcome lovely, you know i'm always here.

to both of you, and everyone
: i'm still talking to ted. [though i will NEVER meet up with him again] he's a lot older and experienced and sometimes i need the perspective of someone who's been there.

plus being able to say i'm a fat cow and get compliments back.... helps sometimes when i hate myself.

don't hate me too much?

4 comments:

  1. You are such an inspiration. You follow your plans daily so well and I just wish I could be as strong as you. Lately I've been falling off the wagon too much and consuming everything under the damn sun. But, we can do this, right? We're strong women.

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  2. I could NEVER hate you, of course! You are awesome, and that won't change just because you gained one measly pound and didn't flirt with anyone. Be careful with Ted, ok?

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  3. we dont hate you! i dont hate you! seriously it is okay dear! and i know you probably disagree. and okay. but it is okay!! WE ARE NOT PERFECT. no ones perfect. i know its so hard but its true. and something i know thats so important is until we can love ourselves and accept ourselves we can't really accept someone else into our lives in a loving and nonjudgmental way. and that is so hard. trust me. it is. ive never had a boyfriend or any time of relationship so im like dying and it hurts so much but i know a lot of it is me and i need more self-confidence and just need to be happier and ACCEPT myself for who i am. and i can't right now.

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  4. Mmmmmm Jameson. . . I could totally go for a nice warming shot of whiskey right now!

    Ugh, I know what you mean. If you sit down at a bar you run the risk of being cornerd by annoying drunk twats who don't know when to shut up ad wont take no for an answer D:

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