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i'm a 25 year old california girl who, like most of us, is perpetually in transition.

Monday, July 26, 2010

red lipstick makes me feel wild [63-65]

..let's do the easy part first.

day 63

weigh in: 259.5

turkey 225
cantaloupe 70

day 64

weigh in: 257.1

[at a restaurant]
small piece of chicken 100?
sauteed mushrooms/tomatoes 40?
raw tomato slices 20?
salad 30?
tiny bit of dressing 30?

broccoli and cheese packet 150

omg liz, thank you for introducing me to these!!!

day 65

weigh in: 255.5

2 broccoli and cheese packets 300
rice 400

day 66

weigh in: 255.5

i had 70 cals of cantaloupe for breakfast.. i feel like puking now because it hurts a little... how come whenever i eat more than a tiny amount i feel like puking? i should be pleased with that..right? maybe the fruit is just too heavy. i was fine with the broccoli and cheese packets and they're roughly the same volume. who knows. embrace your strangeness right?
so most of the events happened yesterday, as that was the day i spent up in the city.

i've been talking to ted at length.. all day every day. he's totally attached to me at this point, even though he lies and says he isn't.

i am growing to like him too, i even left some dirty voicemail on his phone. tehe

i could potentially be with him and feel safe, but have my needs met. there is one problem though. he kind of danced around how girthy he is, telling me, he didn't know... basically he's now saying that he's close to 2 inches in diameter...

holy fuck balls. that is much too much cock... dunno if that's feasible.. if i plan to have sex with anyone else again. lol... here i thought i was spoiled on one and a half inches.... oh my..
ok so.. events of yesterday.

i started by dying my hair dark red and putting on some of my favorite red lipstick.

after that, i drove up to the city to meet with a friend.

i asked her to go on a walk, so we went to campus and walked around... made me rather sentimental. as we were walking i noticed two security guys in a golf cart... of course i look.. security guys are hot! all that...pent up need for authority and being told i'm naughty and such...

tehe.. i realize security people and cops are probably sick to death of their lovers wanting to be disciplined... but i still can't get it out of my head. so delicious!

i look..
they look...
they continue to look..
still looking..
i wave.

about two minutes later we had security guys talking to us :D

nothing came of it, but it was nice to flirt.

after our walk we had coffee.. or tea in my case. after that, a drive down the coast.. which was so delicious. she loves to drive fast and a lil recklessly and i love being in the car with her while she drives.

what is it about an accelerating engine that is just so sexual?

god, i'd love to date a guy with a muscle car.. that'd get me so hot riding in the passenger seat with him driving.... maybe he'd even fuck me in the back seat.. mm...

anyhow.... [removing head from gutter..briefly] after the drive we went to see the sorcerer's apprentice. actually a really cute movie. [i like geeky guys, so there's always that but it was really funny and adorable too] anyone else think the main actor's voice sounds exactly like christian slater? am i crazy? who knows.
throughout the day ted had been texting me... A LOT... like i looked at my phone once to find 14 messages waiting for me... not obsessed? yeah, BULLSHIT!

we talked when i got home and after he went to bed i sent him his first picture of me, as i had remained hidden till then.

guess what my first email from him this morning included?

two drawings of me, he did based on the picture....

anyone else think that's a little psycho?

i guess it's supposed to be romantic.. but i think it's a lil weird.

who knows at this point? if he doesn't settle down i probably wont be able to meet him for the hot sticky sex that could be had. oh well, we'll see.
rachel: i don't know if it's so much negative cals or my body being insane... whatever, i'm going down and that's all that matters.
peridot: meat-tagged? oh my... well i guess it's true.. never before have i noticed so many eyes on me. i guess the repressed sexual aggression of 3 years is just oozing out of me at this point and the men can... smell it?
liz: it is nice for him to know. when i feel sick in the middle of the day i can tell him and he doesn't judge.. which is so weird.. i never thought i could tell a guy and not have him see me as insane.

i am always here for you, you know that! if ever you need advice on something i can help you with, i'm totally here... even if you want me to talk you through a session ;)
to all my lovlies: i am always here for you. if ever you need someone, please leave a message, i will hold your hand through it, and remind you it will get better. swears.


  1. He does sound like he's getting a little obsessed, maybe a bit much, but it could turn out well! I love how your posts are often all about sex :) It makes me feel like I'm a more sexual person than I actually am, lol. I don't know how to explain it.

    Thanks for the offer, I might take you up on that, we'll see. I might be too nervous though...

  2. Heh, get yourself some hot uniformed tail.

    You know you want it :p

    I dunno about you, but the sound of a Harley revving makes me weak at the knees. I totally know what you're on about!