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i'm a 25 year old california girl who, like most of us, is perpetually in transition.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

single now... [40]

so..this post isn't really going to be about food, things got way out of control, i don't think i ate more than 1000 cals but i don't know because i ate most of them at a restaurant.

day 40

weigh in: 267.9

i had a rice cake for breakfast 50
a granola bar 180?
bit of a raspberry lemonade 40?
2-3 cups of soup 400?
a sausage 150?
and two bites of pasta 100?

i didn't eat dinner, i felt ill after we broke up.

i don't really know.

day 41

weigh in: 266.5

breakfast i had my left over pasta 400?

i packed cherrios for lunch, but i don't want them...

i don't really want to get into the details of last night, if anyone actually cares i'll tell you, but i get the impression people just want me to loose the weight.

ill give u the cliff notes version

i came home and grabbed the cd out of hiding and put it in a new spot, sat him down and talked to him. he kept his cool, we ended up spending most of the evening together waiting for his friend to get out of work so he could spend the night there. friend never told him when he got off so he spent the night in a hotel. i get to keep the apartment but i don't know if i want to stay. i slept really comfortably in the bed by myself, i fucking hate sharing a bed...

you know what i remember most?

we were driving around and i mentioned that i should eat and fast food was the only option. he essentially said if i want the boys to "come a running" i better not.

yay for anorexia..

i also told him i was being unhealthy but i didn't get into detail about it.

i don't know i feel so emotionally dead right now. i hope you all are doing better.

oh, remember that guy i met in so cal? the guy i liked?

yeah well, he does like me... he also has a gf...yay...
liz thanks for being sweet, sometimes just the little nothings help.


  1. I'm sorry you had a shitty day :( :( I wish I could help! If you need anything, my email is on my blog.

    And you're very welcome, I'm just here to make you happy :)

  2. OH darling. I don't think for a second that all we care about is you losing weight. I know for one I care about you. I'm sorry to end whats happened, it must be very hard for you. Cyber hug? :]

  3. What an ASSHOLE!

    Good riddance! D:

    I DO care what happens to you, silly! I find blogs that focus solely on the daily recording of food intake weight loss to be boring and sad. You post things other than that, so I like reading you :) You'd better dish the dirty on any hot hookups you score to keep my voyeuristic little soul happy :p (That last sentence was a joke, did it work? 0.0)

    I hope you have a good day. Yay for ditching that retard! :D

  4. good riddance to bad rubbish. you may have cared for him but he sounds like a jerk to me.
    yay; spread out on the bed & take all the blankets.
    don't ever just do the cliff notes for our benefits, i'm sure that the people who read your blog care more than just about your weight - always feel free to share everything, i love reading it.
    goodluck with future boy conquests. ;)
    staystrong, page.