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i'm a 25 year old california girl who, like most of us, is perpetually in transition.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

zomg new boy obsession [53]

i ate and ate and fucking ate...but i still lost. yayyyaay :)

day 53

weigh in 262.6

cheese 360
kielbasa 630
mustard 30?
light chocolate soy milk 180
mango juice 50?

day 54

weigh in: 260.1

oie! so close! had i known i was that close i woulda sewn my mouth shut.

fear not! tomorrow i will report a 250's number, i swear to you. i will eat no more than 810 calories..and possibly less. i willlll loose those .2 lbs. i'm almost tempted to eat nothing..but since i stayed up all night, perhaps my body will rebel against that for needs of fuel.
okay so, boy talk.

i've been obsessing about my friend's guy that flirted with me [previously mentioned] and two other boys that have no desire to be with me. i don't know why, i guess i'm not ready to be with someone, so i sabotage my desires so that i can't be with anyone.

well, at least for now, the self destructive process is over.

i met yet another guy, i have no idea what he looks like, he has little to no clue what i look like, but dear christ, does that boy turn me on.

his voice sounds so familiar...but i don't know why.

it'd be funny if he was an ex of mine posing as someone new. oh dear.

in any event we stayed up till 4:30 in the morning first emailing, then texting, then talking on the phone for an hour and a half. i have to wake up at 7:00 for that was fun. i overslept and threw things together in less than 10 min and ran out the door. i love that i'm the kind of girl that CAN leave in less than 10 min. i think that's a great trait to have...kinda random i know.
liz you are are too sweet. i love texting you too, about the weirdest shit :P
rachel omg! did something happen with jason?? why didn't u text me?? you ok?


  1. Lol tackle that sexy beast ;) nothing happened with Jason i was just in one of those I HATE MYSELF moods =P my phone has been acting up it's weird...water must have finally gotten to it =] I'm proud of you!!! You can do it lovie!!! Stay strong!!!<3

  2. Aw thanks....but wait, how do you know what I look like?

    Seriously, I HATE the boob job look-I nearly always think the before in the before/after pics looks better. So I would have very minor, 'natural' implants (as much as this is possible). But I am not the right size for my frame. I obviously don't show pics where you can see how odd-shaped I am but I'm very unevenly shaped. My top half is very slender but I have wide hips and a generous bum. All the pics that have been up I'm either wearing a padded bra or covering myself so you can't see anyway. Also I'm quite unsymmetrical, which I hate. I feel like I need this to be able to accept my body and not keep on manipulating my weight to try to feel better about it. Oh and the nose is just happening. No discussion! Hate my nose, hate hate hate it.

    And don't worry, I have no plan to end up like Heidi Montag!

    Thanks tho sweet! I like your blog layout. Pretty :) x

  3. Go for it! Any guy would be lucky to have you :)

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